Based on the work I do I’m often asked (or told), “It must be so meaningful to do what you do. To contribute to a better world?!” I don’t always feel that way.

Setting aside for now my observations, experiences, and commentary on the structure of the nonprofit sector in the U.S. (a whole post for another day), what I’ve noticed is how easily I slip into tying my value to output: how much I’m doing (usually not enough), how I measure up against my peers (definitely behind, so much wasted potential), how visible I am (not very), and how much money is coming in (underpaid, undervalued, under-engaged).

So even while doing this supposedly meaningful work, as someone who’s deeply responsible, practical, and focused I’ve struggled to separate my worth from my work. That tension is laced with fears of scarcity and this underlying pressure to somehow fulfill all the potential I feel and know that I have.

Some of that comes from real life. And some of it, I know, is just part of my wiring (Saturn in the second house in Virgo, for the astro folks). I’ve always been tuned into the realities: bills to pay, goals to meet, a life to build.

But lately with a few life transitions, some of them of my own choosing, my best laid plans have been thoroughly disrupted. That carefully envisioned life driven by the business school classic, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” has started to feel outdated and irrelevant to my desire for expansion into greater alignment with who I am while leaving lots of room for who I am yet to become.

When that awareness turns into fear or shame or the sense that I’m falling behind I know I’ve crossed into a space that doesn’t serve me. And yet, it’s hard to separate.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear how you’re navigating this in your own life. Drop a comment, send a message, or just take a quiet moment to ask yourself the same question:

What if your worth wasn’t tied to your work?
What if your worth wasn't tied to proof, but woven into your essence?