I am a leadership and life transitions coach. I am often thinking about or being asked about what it means to actually create the life we want to live.

For me, this has meant coming out later in life, moving through a relationship transition, and understanding how my queerness shapes my desire to live outside the binary. Simply put, it just means being really in touch with who I am.

But to do that, to even begin to feel who I am, I first had to feel embodied (thank you somatic therapy). Present. Alive to what lights me up. It’s not a grand, sudden knowing. It’s small. Like a beaver building a dam one stick at a time. One small insight, one small feeling at a time, piling into something solid and real. That mound becomes insight into myself. And with that insight, I move differently.

I have also had to make space for liminality for not knowing. That’s the frustrating part. The gap. The waiting. The “what now?” before the next thing takes shape. But doing just one thing following the thread of what feels true has made space for what needs to come through: the wisdom, the action, the clarity on which fork in the road? That’s how I’ve been making changes in my life. One step at a time.

You might ask: How do I know I’m on the right path? I look back each year and ask myself: Was this year better than the last spiritually, emotionally, vibrationally? Have I grown? Has my life grown?

I bring all of this into my coaching and consulting practice, in the work I do. I have learned to ask the right questions that hold space for someone figuring something out. I have learned to bring the kind of presence that trusts that one doesn’t need all the answers all at once. Alongisde my firm, unwavering, foundational life defining belief that there is always a third, fourth, or fifth way.

We can create the life we want to live. Not all at once. And not in some big reveal. But in steps. In nudges. Where each moment of knowing is clearer and more powerful than the last.

I’d love to hear what you’re noticing as you create the life you want to live. Feel free to share below.